Stuck to Empowered: Transform Hidden Barriers and Live with Integrity * Part Two
- Apr 6
- 6 min read
Welcome to the second installment in a three-part series exploring the robust "Immunity to Change" framework with guest blogger Jennie Snyder, a Collective Member.
In this series, she'll share how understanding the hidden barriers that get in our way can transform our capacity to grow and lead authentically. This approach has profoundly shifted her relationship with change, moving her from frustration to empowerment. Join in as we discover why our best intentions so often fall short and, more importantly, how to transcend those invisible barriers.
In my previous post, I shared how chest pain and a trip to the emergency room finally made me confront my workaholic tendencies. Despite genuine desires to take better care of myself, something invisible kept pulling me back to old patterns. As it turns out, I didn't lack willpower or commitment – I was caught up in what Harvard psychologists Robert Kegan and Lisa Lahey call "Immunity to Change."
Today, I'll walk you through a practical and powerful tool, the Immunity to Change map, that helped me see what stood in my way. If you've ever felt frustrated by your inability to make a change you sincerely want, this post is for you. Let's uncover what's going on beneath the surface.
When we want to change our lives, our usual approach resembles New Year's resolutions: set a goal, take action, and solve the problem. Yet, this approach frequently falls short.
Kegan and Lahey’s Immunity to Change (ITC) framework offers a different approach. The first step in the ITC process is clarifying what we want. What is “one big thing” that would genuinely make a difference? In my case, I wanted to live a life with more balance, less stress, and more energy for the people I love and the activities I enjoy. As I reflected on my “one big thing,” I set a goal of taking time for myself and getting more exercise. I thought that by taking this step, I would have an outlet to work off stress and to feel more energized. That goal was important to me; it would impact my health, well-being, and relationships. On a scale of 1 to 5, it was a 5!
The next step in the process is to identify what we are doing (or not doing) that gets in the way of our goal. This part is an opportunity to get honest with ourselves. I identified the behaviors I was engaging in that worked against my goal. What did I do that got in the way of taking time for myself and exercising? I’m not going to lie. Digging down and getting honest with myself was challenging. As someone who liked to feel in control, facing these behaviors was uncomfortable, to say the least.
Mustering the courage to face myself, I listed:
Work late
Drive past the gym to and from work without going inside
Agreeing to meetings or phone calls early in the morning or late in the day
Saying “yes” to requests for just one more thing
Working through lunch
Not prioritizing exercise (everything else comes first)
I squirmed as I faced the chasm between what I said I wanted and what I was doing. To manage my discomfort, I felt the pull to jump into action. I resolved (again) to go to the gym before work each day, pack my bag with exercise clothes, walk at lunch, do better, and so on. I tried this approach for a few days and soon found myself back in the familiar cycle – good intentions, no or inconsistent follow-through, eventually giving up, getting down on myself.
To break through this self-defeating cycle, Kegan and Lahey say that we must go beneath the surface to explore the limiting beliefs and fears that keep us stuck. The next step in the process is to consider what worries come up as we consider doing the opposite of what I am currently doing. Reflecting on this question, I imagined leaving work on time, driving to the gym, and going inside. As I sat with this visualization, I could feel tightness in my chest – worries filled my head – doing the opposite, a sense of dread that I would be seen as selfish (how can I leave work when there is so much to do?) and worthless (take time for myself? I must have no value to this organization).
Continuing my process revealed something surprising. While I genuinely wanted to prioritize my health, I also discovered my unconscious goals of not being seen as selfish or as being seen as indispensable at work. The thought of turning down projects or stepping away from my desk before everyone else triggered deep fears about my professional identity and worth. Driving past the gym and working through lunch kept these fears at bay. I realized my intention was at odds with my underlying beliefs and fears. I could see in vivid detail the struggle I was having with myself. Rather than beating myself up, I could see how these behaviors kept me safe and protected me from being seen as selfish and worthless.
Seeing these limiting beliefs and fears, I wondered about the unconscious rules driving me. Was it true that if I did not say yes to every request, late-night call, or meeting, I would be worthless? If I took time to walk at lunch, was I being selfish?
I was ready for my next step - to put these “rules” that drove me, that protected me by keeping my fears about being seen as selfish and worthless at bay, to the test. This new awareness didn't immediately solve my challenge, but fundamentally shifted my approach. Instead of battling my behaviors as the enemy, I began to see them as protective mechanisms that had served a purpose. Now, I could work with them rather than against them.
My journey with the Immunity to Change map transformed how I understood how I was getting in my way and not prioritizing self-care. If you're struggling with a change that matters deeply to you, I invite you to try mapping your immunity to change:
What is “one big thing” that would significantly impact you? Why does it matter to you?
What are you currently doing (or not doing) that works against your intention? Hint: Be honest!
What fears or worries arise when you imagine doing the opposite?
Look for some competing commitments these fears reveal
Remember, hold what you discover with compassion, not judgment
Through the mapping process, I could see the dynamic that kept me stuck. Seeing my immunity to change gave me a wider range of choices about how to move forward. While I still had work to do to transform these hidden barriers, I could hold myself with greater compassion.
In the next blog post, I’ll share the next part of my journey to test my assumptions and experiment with new behaviors.
About the author:
Meet Jennie Snyder.
With 25 years as a leader navigating dynamic organizational systems, I now serve as a Leadership Coach and Facilitator, helping women leaders thrive amid life's complexities with genuine confidence and flexibility. Through years of leading teams, balancing diverse needs, and fostering positive change, I've gained perspective on the common challenges that connect leaders across different fields. I've learned that great leadership means cultivating meaningful connections while creating results that truly align with one's deepest values.
I work with women in demanding careers who seek greater self-awareness and courageous authenticity in their leadership journeys. Leadership isn't just about what you do—it's about staying grounded while becoming your most authentic self. By blending compassionate systems thinking with transformational coaching, I help women connect with their inner wisdom, embrace vulnerability as strength, and create meaningful impact in their organizations and communities.
My journey includes a Doctorate in Educational Leadership from the University of California, Davis, and an Executive Leadership Coaching certificate from Georgetown University's Institute for Transformational Leadership. I've completed advanced training in Compassionate Systems Leadership through MIT's Center for Systems Awareness and am a certified Immunity-to-Change™ facilitator. I'm also qualified to administer and provide feedback using the Leadership Circle Profile™ and MyWorldView™ assessments.
When I'm not coaching, you'll find me at home in Northern California with my wife Vanessa, planning our next adventure, catching live music shows, hitting local hiking trails, hopping on my bike, or curled up with a good book.
Photo by Imat Bagja Gumilar on Unsplash
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